Bacon Band Aids

Price: $5.45 From: Amazon

Bacon Band Aids

Hey you! Yea, you…Fattie McFatterson. We heard you cry like a little Chris Crocker bitch when you get a paper-cut. We also heard your fat ass loves bacon. Look, now you can cover up those wounds the ‘Murican way–with fatty fried pork tissue. Mmm, the salty taste of Freedom!

Unlike real pork meat, these Bacon Band Aids are sterile (sort of like you, if you have ever tried to hit on a martial arts instructor). Besides, if you love bacon half as much as me, simple and paltry ingestion it is not sufficient enough to demonstrate your affections, you need to take it a step further and publicly cover your body in it.


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