Canned Unicorn Meat
Price: $12.50 From: Amazon
Unicorn meat is the perfect gift for a misbehaving daughter. Be sure to graphically relate to her that all the baby unicorns get mercilessly beaten and tortured before they are violently thrown into a rusty meat-grinder in front of their parent unicorns all for your savory satisfaction. Tell her if she doesn’t stop being a whining little bitch that she will just have to have to eat a whole can of this ground up mystical creature to herself, while watching My Little Pony.
In all seriousness though, this gag gift comes with an easy to open bottom wherein lies a stuffed and dismembered unicorn. Put it in your pantry or something. Sheesh.
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