Dead Space Plasma Cutter

Price: $239.99 From: Amazon

Guys: This awesomely detailed life-sized replica of Isaac Clarke’s plasma cutter from Dead Space 2 is fucking amazing. Don’t be afraid of it scaring off the old lady. She’ll be impressed with the faithfulness to the franchise, right down to the bi-directional calibration of the gun and active trigger. Just run around the house in the dark exclaiming your intent to save her from Necormorphs. It’s not like she will say “Its the gun or me.”

Besides, if she did: fuck her. She wasn’t worth it anyway.

It even comes with a display case and a blow-up doll you’ll be needing to keep you company. Just remember to ask your mom to pick up some cheeze doodles and you’ll be good to go.